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Monthly Archives: March 2018

Please Not Now! Then When? (Opinion)

I will say that this is an opinion piece and really if any of my posts get really shared, I’d hope this would be the one. I say that as I do not take anything away from the many Reviews, short stories, or personal MS posts I have written. I say that about this post as I hope it creates some dialogue with in a family.

I’m going to start but stating that we as a society must stop and look around. Things such as information pass between people at lightning fast speeds. Individuals are always in a hurry to get from place to place faster than they need. Parents do all they can for their children even if they themselves have busy work days. It’s like people feel they got to do so much in a single day and at the same speed that information passes between people electronically.

To me this is causing a major issue with society. We are to easily forgetting what it’s like to really just sit down and talk to each other. This actually seems to making the world a somewhat colder place regardless if it’s intentional or not. If we stop and think on it, it may explain the rise of some mental disease and depression. Now why do I come to that conclusion you ask?

I first stop and think on how boys, and even men, have been for so long they need to hide their emotions. They must keep their sorrows to themselves and really NEVER cry. They, heck we, are made to feel that it is a weakness if we do share those thoughts that trouble us. We then look for other ways to release that emotion.  It can be through creative means, writing, art, music or other items. It could be through playing sports, or games to release some of the pain that may be felt. Some are fortunate and realize they need help and go to a doctor and often are prescribed medication as a way to make them feel better. There is of course the dark-side factors such as using illegal drugs to number the senses, acting out and hurting others.

Now, the title of this comes into this post at this time. I can recall, and have observed, people trying to talk to a parent, friend or family member about their emotions. It’s sad, but often a response received is, “Not Now”. You got to wonder how many times it will take to hear those two simple words that a young man just keeps it all in. Is the parent, loved one, family member just afraid of hearing those emotions put into words? Are they afraid that what may be said points some of the potential blame for what they are holding in back at that person? I mean these feelings can be compounded into adult hood, and even begin to drive a wedge into families. At the same time a family may find they really do not know each other after all, because they just couldn’t find the time in a busy day to stop, and listen.

Instead we find that many are walking around like drones. Their face staring at a small cell phone screen, reading a message from maybe the person next to them.  At home how many family members use a phone to text someone just in the other room?  How often is an emoji utilized over an actual face to face conversation to show emotions? I cannot say if this happens but seeing the state and how often a family is in a restaurant with members staring at a phone over having a conversation is scary.

So my question becomes, then when will people realize it’s time to stop and listen? The age doesn’t matter when the listening begins, as the key it will break a cycle. It will allow those emotions to come out instead of being held back. I’m sure there could be pain, and resentment that comes through but the key is, it’s coming out. The pain that may have been bottle up, deflected by drugs (illegal or not) can be hurtful for potentially all involved, but it needs to be said. I mean who remembers when psychiatrists actually listened to a patient over just prescribing the newest “wonder drug”. The rock group Theory of a Deadman even has a song about the issue which is titled RX(Medicate). The song can be seen by some as a way to say everyone is doing drugs but the lead singer (Tyler Connolly) gave a reason for the song. His reasoning is that it has to do with how a therapist told him he was depressed and wanted to put him on anti-depressants.  The therapist couldn’t take time to talk to him about the issues he was dealing with, but instead was quick to go to the easy answer, drugs.

So, this is why I ask “then when” will people stop and listen to those around them. All we got to do is take a look around the United States and see the massive opioid problem. After all many of the opioids being abused are painkillers and I wonder how many are being used less for physical but mental pains.

I say we have the fix to these problems and every human being has that fix within them. There are those who may have an impairment but they are still able to communicate in ways that show they care. Those tools that people can use are on our heads and can be used for more than holding a hat on our head. They can be used for more than putting music into our brains to enjoy the sound of. They are our ears and they are connected to our brains. The brain allows us to take in what is being said and process it like a computer, and can lead to a great result. The result is simple, it could be a hug, a sense of understand, and even just a smile that shows you care.

I realize I’m in no way a trained psychiatrist but I am an analyst by trade. My job entails looking at trends, observing data and making the appropriate guidance to make a situation better. When it comes to much of the mental issues, even the drug abuse in the United States, I truly believe there is that simple fix. Stop saying Not Now, but instead take time and just listen to a person and put the phone down for a period of time. I will say that I do have some firsthand experience on how important it is to listen as I dealt with Depression in my early years of college. I took time and got help, and talked with a therapist. Yes I was given drugs, but with the discussions I had with a therapist I was able to kick the drugs, and found other ways to deal with any depression that may come. I learned by being able to talk to someone things could, and would get better. It’s why I say stop and take time to LISTEN.

 

 

*Side note, I’m not affiliated with Theory of a Deadman other than a fan of their music and found the song to be perfect to mention in this post.

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Posted by on March 12, 2018 in Personal

 

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