The change from spring to the fall is one of my favorite times of the year. The leaves turn from their summer green to hues of yellow, orange, and red before they fall to the ground. It’s beautiful to see those colors as they hang from the countless number of trees, at times it looks as beautiful as a sunset. The one drawback the leaves falling gracefully to the ground, and creating a carpet of color is raking them off the yard. This brings me to the main topic of this long promised post, The Fall and Multiple Sclerosis.
As mentioned this is my favorite time of years as I’ve always loved the cool down in temperatures and the brisk feeling of the air. The day’s sunshine becomes shorter as the progress towards winter continues, and for some the end of daylight savings happens as well. You may wonder why I said some, well not all have to suffer through the fun of the time change.
As all of this happens there are other changes that many are impacted by. In truth this is also the time of year the barometric pressure changes, less humidity in the air, and that chill gets much colder at night. These are all changes that many accumulate to easily, but for this person it’s not so easy. Yes the humidifier is broken out at home as no one likes waking to a bloody nose in the morning. (ICK) There is also the dry cracked skin on the hands and the way the heat dries out the eyes. It’s troublesome but there are remedies such as lotion and eye drops that can help for those issues.
It’s hear when I remind myself on how Multiple Sclerosis is different for each person diagnosed with the disease. If I’m asked about MS I like to remind people how in the movie Forest Gump the main character says, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’ll get.” I may be paraphrasing a bit but that is so true when it comes to life, and for MS it’s like a candy store of chocolates. As fall hits for me it becomes a store the size of a huge mall. This means I do not know what the MS Monster will bring me from day to day.
It is one of the many reasons why I do my Halloween open blog as it gives me a break from having to write of new content. I get to relax a bit, and recharge the batteries. However, this year was one for the books as I lost nearly a full day thanks to the MS and how it handled the change in weather. I can still remember the day in question, as it was a Thursday. I was due to volunteer in at a local school in the Junior Achievement program. I got up and found myself having trouble walking. My legs hurt and my arms felt like Jell-O. There was more to my issues but thank goodness I can work from home or I’d have called in for that too. I realized at that moment I would not be standing in a class room, or heck walking into the school alone was a challenge.
You take those physical issues and add them to the one big issue this year and that is the Cognitive problems. My focus has been lacking, I’ve been unable to read much at all as I’ll start and forget what I had read. I was making notes at work for the things I had to accomplish for a day. I found myself looking at the list many times. I could try typing a sentence and like a child with low attention span forget what I was doing. This was driving me insane and my blog suffered, hell I was suffering as I hated feeling like this.
As someone who prides himself on having a sharp mind I found myself comparing myself to those with early onset of dementia. I was getting frustrated with myself, I mean how do you do book reviews when you cannot read paragraph before losing where you are. I was fortunate work did not suffer too much as many duties are almost like muscle memories. The problems came when trying to engage in things like writing, or reading. I mean after I had that bad Thursday I was outside raking by the weekend so the muscle issues where short lived.
I eventually overcame the cognitive issues and was finally able to write this piece. In truth I went to something I knew would help me refocus and increase my cognitive skills. What you ask? I started playing some video games on my computer. I played several Call of Duty games and recently I have been playing Diablo III and this has been helping tremendously. You are made to focus, and watch your surroundings in those games. If you fail to watch what is going on your character is killed and you have to go back and start an area again. It can get very repetitious as you do this. So, you must focus watch what’s going on and learn what not to do to end up having the character die again. I felt my focus coming back and my cognitive skills returning.
This of course was all helped as the weather normalized, the last of the leaves floated to the ground and it got cold. It’s why this post was finally finished after working on it for almost two weeks. I could go into more of the issues brought on with the weather change but that is not the purpose of the post. I wanted to peel back a bit of the layer of my life to show I struggled but DID NOT let it stop me. I found a way to overcome the problems to get back to my sense of normality.
I think that’s the biggest thing I can tell people about getting a diagnosis of a disease. It’s not always a death sentence. You can feel like your world is ending, it will change and nothing will be the same again. I call BULL SHIT to that type of thinking. Life is what you make out of it and I think it’s important to work through the challenges life can bring. As for me, yes I have Multiple Sclerosis, but I WILL NOT LET IT HAVE ME! I will keep doing as much as I can and fight what it may bring at me. Yes I was down for a few weeks, to a month, but I am back and stronger for it. I found another way to refocus my energies and another way to fight the disease. I know what I went through may be nothing compared to others who have it much worse. The fact is just don’t give up to the crap that life brings.
I’m sure there are those who will read this and go, “What you complaining about, you didn’t have things that rough.” I realize that may be but to one who works to engage his mind I was scared. So, I invite people to take what they want out of this as it may seem small to you but to me it was major. The fact is I again would not let the monster change my life. I will keep fighting against everything that the MSonter throws at me, just like I do against the negative life brings at me as well.